I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
