i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I don't deserve a penis
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
