Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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