What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
