I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
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My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
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And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize