Please, let me fuck your mom
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
