Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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