After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
