alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Hello my rib-scented angel!
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
