You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
