ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
