smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have vodka in my lungs
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize