She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
