Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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