Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
