I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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