Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
