There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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