I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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