i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
