I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize