I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
