I seem to have left my pride at pride
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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