i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
