didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
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Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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