This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
