Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Randomize
