My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
