$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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