Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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