I just made out with a guy for $7.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize