I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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