I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize