Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
