There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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