I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
