After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
