the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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