YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
