I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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