Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Randomize
Follow @tfln