Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?

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  (908): Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable? http://tfl.nu/mn26
  Replies (7) Good night (3925) Bad night (470)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark

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  (815): You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark http://tfl.nu/4we1
  Replies (56) Good night (6061) Bad night (754)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.

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  (506): I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why. http://tfl.nu/rcz3
  Replies (18) Good night (4896) Bad night (1014)
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  (408): View more from California

  You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now

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  (408): You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now http://tfl.nu/y80h
  Replies (15) Good night (3987) Bad night (1036)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  There is too much vodka and too much dick.

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  (860): There is too much vodka and too much dick. http://tfl.nu/9jud
  Replies (25) Good night (3565) Bad night (1663)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk

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  (715): its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk http://tfl.nu/cy8n
  Replies (8) Good night (3912) Bad night (952)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?

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  (208): And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs? http://tfl.nu/xb1m
  Replies (2) Good night (1420) Bad night (436)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.

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  (248): I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start. http://tfl.nu/l2qb
  Replies (9) Good night (1265) Bad night (821)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.

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  (904): The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins. http://tfl.nu/2pe6
  Replies (7) Good night (793) Bad night (358)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god

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  (314): Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god http://tfl.nu/tl6y
  Replies (12) Good night (1074) Bad night (309)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes

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  (303): trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes http://tfl.nu/w6ny
  Replies (2) Good night (673) Bad night (368)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.

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  (360): ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all. http://tfl.nu/5hyy
  Replies (9) Good night (2039) Bad night (410)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?

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  (631): Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert? http://tfl.nu/xdif
  Replies (7) Good night (477) Bad night (251)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets

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  (561): I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets http://tfl.nu/vj1n
  Replies (1) Good night (255) Bad night (315)
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  (477): View more from

  He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER

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  (477): He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER http://tfl.nu/0g26
  Replies (8) Good night (309) Bad night (180)

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