sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
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Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
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Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books