her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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