We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
