Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
