You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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