I molested 6 butterflies tonight
operation harelip BJ is a go
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
