you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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