you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
