I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
