i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You pole danced in your parka.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
