I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
