your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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