And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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