Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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