theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
