Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
So squirting runs in the family.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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