I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Randomize
