did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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