How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Moan for me like Helen Keller
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
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She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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