he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
