Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Randomize
