How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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