And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Sorry about my life...
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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