see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he fucked my hip out of place.
We just shotgunned beers for America
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
