what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
