At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
