We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We need a shit load of segways right now
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
