im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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