At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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